Each April, the General Mills Corporation holds its annual bake-off. Tens of thousands of recipes are sent in from around the country - each vying for bragging rights along with a grand prize of $1 million. Some, like this year’s winner: Carolyn Gurtz and her Double-Delight Peanut Butter Cookies are delicious and delightful.

What are some of the recipes that didn’t make the cut.

Update:

Our winner is nicolecarr bio with:

Chimp chimp Cookies.

Your prize is this piece of advice:

“A smart investor does not work hard for his monkey—he makes his monkey work hard for him.”

The Shork’s existence has not yet been accepted by the scientific community. Don’t worry, the silvery-half-thing will make itself known on it’s own terms, but this leads me to ask:

What’s your fringe science theory?

UPDATE:

As a card carrying Hemogoblin I have chosen wisely…

Despite my groundbreaking paper: “Rapid Macular Degeneration as a result of exposure to multiple recent discoveries,” the fools at the AMA refuse to believe that anyone has ever “blinded me with science.” -JasonCarr

I don’t mean to be harsh, but sometimes lonely people deserve to be lonely. What personal ad would you NOT EVER in a MILLION YEARS answer?

We’ll be accepting answers till Wednesday evening.

UPDATE:

There was laughter and a slight icky feeling all over my body from reading your responses… and even though Andrea’s picture of creepy Andrew is very creepy, and jasoncarr’s “no fatties” is too good to be true, I’m going to have to give it to my best friend anonymous:

you should really have that rash checked out.
i know a great gynecologist.
call me some time.

Congratulations, anonymous—you win a new name! Zorgplath, the great! Everybody give it up for Zorgplath! All hail the mighty Zorgplath!

By the way, new names are very useful on personal ads. I’m just saying, is all.

UPS can be counted on to drop off pleasant surprises. That book you ordered from Amazon. A gift package from the parents. Occasional though, you get something… unexpected. So what is the strangest thing you’ve ever gotten through the mail?

Update: And victory goes to…. (drumroll) Ellen! Snail-mailing e-mail… that’s definitly unexpected.

Honorable mention: Christine and her spoon. I once recieved an ice-cube tray under similar circumstances.

Give me your best example of ‘creative spin’.

We need you to correct our misconceptions—give us your best Crocodile Dundee “That’s not a knife, THIS is a knife!” analogy.

Update:

Wow. Great entries. Forgoing the shameless self-promotion of my own company (thanks to cdalki) I’ve gotta go with the chicken breasts (entry #5). Congratulations Andrea!

Here’s my pick:

[img]http://www.connollyco.com/discography/madness/madness_hi.jpg[/img]

Madness?

[img]http://us.ent1.yimg.com/images.launch.yahoo.com/000/040/425/40425551.jpg[/img]

This Is SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Sorry about the delay in posting Wednesday’s topic. Believe me when I tell you the people responsible will be hung for treason.

So, in honor of killing those that you trust, what would you read in a superhero’s obituary?

UPDATE:

Wow, some great answers here. jasoncarr’s entry definitely played the Buffy card, and proved his geek cred (The Gift definitely made me cry a little. I mean a lot).

Andrea wins it, though, with this also geeky answer:

Spiderman died yesterday after a long, fruitful life of serving society. His wife, Mary Jane was at his side and he asked her to share his last words to the public. He said, “Tell everyone I’m sorry for all the cobwebs I left behind for them to clean.”

Congratulations Andrea! You win your very own Zombie Spiderman!

So in honor of my current binge on CNN biographies, my topic is:

What were the failed Democrat and Republican VP candidates? There had do have been some interesting characters passed over to get to Biden/Palin, right?

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Oh the fighting was fierce but it looks like Jumdar gets the chuckle with Caribou Barbie. Ok, enough fun. Now back to the real, boring, bickering politics…

So, having successfully worked out I am sore and stiff. The question is:

What is the best way to ease my aching muscles?

Update:

The winner is Robot who recommends I just “Replace them with mechanical parts”, that’d solve it!

Robot, I toast you with Valvoline!