So here is my first contribution on here and this introduces my being one of the biggest nerds Ben will ever be friends with. As a graduate student, I am presenting this week on how the politics of style and its commodification happened with fashion icons such as the zoot suits and afros come with political significance but evolved into cultural commodities. Can you think of any political symbols right now and how they can evolve into cultural commodities?

So finally, after mulling it over, I made my decision. I loved Jason’s Chomsky doll (I mean seriously, how did you find the strip?!) and the “change” change… but the winner is Ben because I still am trying to wrap my mind about it and when I read it for the first time, I just couldn’t stop laughing! Congrats Ben, I know you’ll rock those uggs and mesmerize us with your legs when the time comes!

Update:

Congratz Andrea, youz donz it againz.

Andrea’s winning entry is:

Barney: This is so lame.
Ted: Lame … or casual?
Barney: Lame.
Ted: … or casual?

So, Songs from the Labyrinth was a little… labyrinthine. What’s Sting going to do next? Album title, music style, event appearance, whatever, especially given he has unlimited resources and can do whatever the f*#$ he wants.

Update:

I have to give it to Jason for his Forgetting Sarah Marshall reference:

Sodomize Intolerance

Congratulations, Jason! You win the opportunity to wash your mouth out with soap!

Hi everybody! I got back from my week long trip in Reno. Doc and I drove through wonder places like Tahoe, Reno, Carson City, Yosemit, and yes even Fesno. So guess what we saw.

After much deliberation and discussion with the powers that be I have come to a decission. You fine shorkers did not make it easy for me. But, I have to say that over a dead mammal I have to say that Ellen’s Taco Bell in space is the winner.

We know somebody’s got some wise words to share… hello? Anyone?

And a winner has been chosen!

That’s some good stuff, not just from Max Kerning (see his twitter here), but also from Conan… good grief, but I think that Andrea manages to remind us of the wisdom of Barney Stinson:

“There are certain things in life where you know it’s a mistake but you don’t really know it’s a mistake because the only way to know that it really is a mistake is to make that mistake and go, “Yup, that was a mistake”. So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you’ll go about your whole life not knowing whether it was a mistake or not.”

Wow, that’s a mouthful of sage ol’ advice. Congratulations, Andrea! You win 5 slaps distributed throughout eternity! Suit up!

This week’s new shork topic:

Reasons/excuses overheard at the unemployment line.

•——————————–•

Well, after hundreds of submisions and thousands of phone calls, the hotly contested Shork topic has finally been decided. The jury took the weekend and are finally back with the results. And the winner is……

“My dog ate my boss”

Thank you, Blampert, for your morbidly clever response.

Since no one is signed up to moderate I’ll keep things going-

Yesterday I learned of the existence of limbless lizards

But Jason, you say. Isn’t a limbless lizard just a snake?

No, don’t be stupid. This is a lizard:

and this is a snake:

besides our beloved Shork, what other cryptozoological abominations of nature are out there?

Update:

Our winner is nicolecarrbio with:

The cockamouse: this animal lives in urban areas. This animal has made huge leaps in evolution. It is the hybridization of a cockroach and a mouse. There have been reports that this majestic creature has flight capabilities. Caution this animal may be vicious.

I just love How I Met Your Mother.

Your prize is the knowledge that these taxonomic bugbears are out there defying us to study them—in little mayonnaise jars with a stick and a piece of cheese.

Rush Limbaugh has his Dittoheads, Joss Whedon has the Browncoats. What should we—followers of the great and mysterious Shork call ourselves?

Update:

Answers ranged from the simple to the surreal to the WTF?!

I liked them all, but since I may only choose one winner I choose:

zoononettigists
[zü-ō-nän-et-i-jists]
pl. n. :: followers of an animal not interested in table manners.

from:
zoology - the study of creatures
+
non
+
etiquette - the study of, well, etiquette [mind yr damn manners]

by anonymous 

Ani, can I call you Ani? your prize is self-knowledge. Although we do not know who you are, you do. And in the words of the great Oscar Wilde: “Only the shallow know themselves.”

I just seriously think it’s a cute dog. Pew pew.

Oh, and welcome back!

UPDATE:

This is a tough one. I love Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog, and boy do I enjoy forking over those cheap and plentiful human hearts for the world’s rarest commodity: cute puppies. However, anonymous once again makes me scared right down to my cold, bitter core with his answer:

you don’t get the dog; the dog gets you [assuming you have an outstanding warrant and live in hawaii].

Great use of Dog: The Bounty Hunter. Congratulations, you get a three week reprieve from reality TV shows! Go read a book!

In memory of Brian Lampert’s loss, we’ll be postponing any further Shorkings until this Friday.

Neal Lampert was an accomplished musician, a great father and a man who has left a legacy anyone would be proud of. He will be missed.